"Oh, well, the summer is typically slow."
This is what I have been hearing from so many artists recently and it's what I mutter when the uninformed person asks me what movie or Broadway show I will be performing in next.
::QUICK TANGENT::
If you know an actor do not ask them, "Are you famous yet?" We hate it. And we hate you a little for bringing it up. It may seem natural but it's a huge blow to our egos. It's the equivalent of asking a businessperson, "Are you CEO yet?", a teacher, "Are you Superintendent yet?", or a doctor, "Have you cured Alzheimer's yet?" Yes, it's extreme but trust me, the comparison of feeling defeated is the same.
::BACK TO FUN AND GAMES::
And it's true. The summer IS slow when it comes to auditions, filming and whatnot. You may ask, "Well, Karen, what is it that you DO for income during the summer months? Wait tables? Perform monologues on the streets? Sell water for $5 a bottle in Times Square?"
Glad you asked. I'd be HAPPY to share with you the random jobs I have been placed with this summer to support my lavish lifestyle. Oh, and get excited....pictures included.
As you may remember, I work for a convention staffing agency. It was the annual Book Fair and a client of ours requested two young female actors to play characters in a recently published children's book, "Bink and Gollie." When my boss offered the job I enthusiastically accepted with the expectation I would be entertaining little kids and signing autographs like the local celeb I am.
I was the tall and lanky, Gollie. The other girl, respectively, was Bink. We arrived at our assigned station promptly at 8am ready to entertain book lovers of all shapes and sizes. Sadly, none of those were child size. To our surprise no children were admitted into the expo. We were handed bags of Swedish fish to pass out to buyers/publishers/bookstore owners. No where in the book, "Bink and Gollie" does it mention Swedish fish so you can imagine our confusion when we were given this task. Regardless, we put on smiles and walked around the trade floor shouting, "BINK AND GOLLIE SWEDISH FISH! COME AND GET THEM! THEY'RE FREE!!"
We. Were. A. Hit! So adorable in fact that a client for ComicCon asked our boss if he could hire us to dress up as comic book characters for his booth. Of course. Not a bad gig for only 3 hours of work. Plus we got to stock up on free books. Next job.
A friend of mine since high school, Ashley, works for an athletic apparel company. They sell your top of the line clothing for serious athletes. Ashley calls me one day and asks if I'll be a promo model for the NYC Triathlon.
"All you have to do is get people to sign up for a raffle." Ashley explained. "So easy and great money......ohandyouhavetowearlycra."
Lycra? My hesitation was...minimal. I could work out hard for a week and get in Lycra-wear shape. I accepted the job.
Please see photo.
Holy Lycra Batman! Let's get this straight. Never in my life have I worn Lycra shorts. I'm mean...I looked really cool but I have no intention on making this an everyday affair. The other "model" that was hired was the peppiest thing I have ever met. I have never seen a person this happy about life that wasn't taking drugs. Seriously. The length of her hair reached her lower back and she continuously flipped it in my direction causing it to slap me in the face. She would chase down people to get them to sign up for the raffle which gave away $500 worth of apparel. (That reminds me, I forgot to sign up. Shoot.) This job was three, 8 hour days. When the other employees asked if I would be back I firmly but politely replied with a "no."
A good thing, however, that came from this job was my motivation to train for races. After talking to the triathlon contestants I decided that I am royally lazy and there is no excuse why I shouldn't be participating in these events. Stop shaking your head in disbelief. I'm in my second week of training. Next job.
Tia was working a promotional event and really wanted a friend to work with her. It would only be two hours. In and out.
"Sooooo, what's the deal?" I asked.
"Welllllll, it's a Jersey Shore CD release party. And the client is Goodburger and they want girls to pass out mini-burgers. We would have to wear black shorts and they will give us T-shirts and hats to wear."
I have a small crush on Paulie D. Sure, I'll go.
The venue for this party is a huge club. We meet the Goodburger clients and head up to the office to change and get ready to pass out these burgers. Oops. Goodburger forgot our t-shirts and hats at the store. They send someone to go back and get them. However, we have hot mini-burgers that need to be passed out. Wait, what are these! There are gold bikini tops in the office that the bartenders of the club wear! Extra ones you say?
"Girls, why don't you just put these on for a little bit until the shirts arrive?" Goodburger client asks.
Sure. My shame flew out the window when I accepted this job. (I'm not providing you pictures of the gold bikini. You get Tia and I enjoying one of the burgers).
Onto the dance floor we go carrying trays of burgers and onion rings. Who doesn't love girls passing around free food when your drunk? Oh! I'll tell you....the cast of Jersey Shore. (And Lil' John/Wayne/Rapper (?) who was also at this soiree) One of the guy cast members walked past me and stared at my tray for a good 15 seconds, I assume debating whether or not to eat one. I told him he needed to think faster and walked away.
My complaints about the job are trivial. It was actually a lot of fun. Tia and I were able to get rid of the food quickly then join the party.
I think back to how unhappy I was having a 9-5 desk job. I would have breakdowns regularly because there was so little excitement and variety in my life. I meet new people from all over the world everyday. I learn new things everyday. It's fantastic.
Recently, I got more steady job that is actually in my field. Very grateful. The oddball jobs are still out there and I'm sure I'll fall into another one. How could I not? They make my life more interesting.
