Yes, we ALL had a friend like Sheavon growing up. While the specific details of our friend "Sheavon" vary, they all had one particular trait in common. Sheavon was a total bitch.
Sheavon was the one who decided what and where we would play. If you presented an idea she found at all boring she would roll her eyes, cross her arms and walk away. She once said that my wardrobe was that of a kindergarteners and my glasses made me look like a total dork. While these statements were accurate -
(Case in point)
- it is not proper etiquette to deliver them so crassly. So, you may ask, "Karen, why did you continue to stay friends with Sheavon after she repeatedly made fun of the lovely clothing options your mother chose for you and winning ideas for Star Search material?" The same reason we ALL stayed friends with "Sheavon."
Her material possessions.
Stop judging. You know you did it too. You're telling me that you didn't INSTANTLY befriend the mouth breathing, spike haired boy who wore shirts that read, "Your fly is open" and overused the word, "DOI!" in lunchroom conversations when he was the first one on the block to get a Super Nintendo. Told you.
Let's fast forward a bit to my 8th birthday. It had a "Ladies Who Lunch" type of theme. My dad and brother dressed in their finest suits and served After Eight thin mints to us "ladies" who were draped in our mother's Sunday best from the 80's. It was some classy fun. The friends I had invited to my soiree were very vocal with their opinions of Sheavon. If Sheavon came, they would not. I had to make a rather difficult decision as a newly turned 8-year-old and chose to not invite Sheavon as to please my less supercilious friends. My mom warned me that it was highly possible for Sheavon to find out about this party, her being the next door neighbor, and that if a problem arose I would have to solve it on my own. I quickly shoed Mom away and said there would be no problem.
Here is a photograph from the day. Sheavons house is in the background.
About 5 minutes after this picture was taken, Sheavon and her mom came out of the house and began walking across the street. I immediately began freaking out and ran inside to tell my mom the news. There was no disguising the birthday party that was obviously taking over the Bray household. Balloons and banners celebrating my birth littered the front lawn and porch.
I stood in front of my mom, pleading her to take care of this situation. She shook her head "no" and said I had to take care of it myself. Giving in to my cowardly tendencies, I stayed inside to watch my best friend, Katie, tell Sheavon that I thought she was out of town and it was a simple mistake. Katie was an amazing friend and always had my back. I owed her big for this one. After a few minutes of convincing, Sheavon and her mom went back home and the party commenced.
The next day, Mom made me go over to Sheavons to apologize for not inviting her. I hated every minute of it. I stuck with the original lie that I thought she was out of town. She could never know the truth that I maliciously took her off the guest list. She had a new vanity I wanted to play with.
If there was one thing I learned from that day it was the ability to lie directly to someone's face. A talent that has certainly proved it's value multiple times within my career choice. My 8th birthday party was nothing short of a precursor for what trials I would be faced with in adulthood.
