"can i get yo number?"

Those charming men of Manhattan. Special gems that light up this city. I can always count on you for unwanted catcalls and bug-eyed stares toward my backside. I am on an express train to Heaven with all the "God bless you, Baby"'s I receive a day. Thank you for keeping my confidence soaring whenever I walk down the street in sweatpants with a TECH t-shirt sans make-up and deodorant. One of the best lines I have ever gotten was, "Good Morning, Your Highness." Not bad, not bad. That guy at least got a smile out of me. We all know I would wear a tiara everyday if I was sure it wouldn't get snatched on the subway from some intimidating Bronx teenage girl.

When I first moved to New York I spent a lot of time just wandering the streets shopping. I frequented the Times Square area just because I had no idea where else to go. In my heels and skinny jeans I felt like a native bustling through the streets. A native, however, would never have fallen prey to this homeless man's charm.

"Girrrrrllll, if you were a couple inches taller you could be America's Next Top Model!"

"What?! I'm already in 3 inch heels!" I holler back.

"Yeah, but those girls are tall! But, for serious, you could do it!"

"Thank you!!!"

"Do you got a dollar?" I think I gave him a $5.

The other day I was casually walking down my street doing a little grocery shopping. I didn't look my best, but I was decent enough for public appearances. Random guy shouts, "Heyyyyyy, what's yo name?"

Like most respectable Manhattan women, I ignored him, put on my blue tinted Aviators and hoped my headphones would provide the universal sign of "I don't care to hear what you're saying". His friend, however, was not happy about my rude dismissal.

"Yo UGLY!" He screamed at me.

I kept walking forward thinking this was an innocent mistake and he surely was speaking to someone else.

"HEY! YO...UGLY...!"

Okay, nowwww it's personal. I stopped in my tracks for about 5 seconds and thought about what I should do next. Keep on walking and go home? Eat an entire pizza in self-pity? No. THIS warranted attention.

"Ummm, okay. First of all, definitely NOT ugly! I can look a whole lot hotter than I do right now in this 100 degree weather. Secondly, congratulations on getting a girl to at least talk to you. If you were above 5'4" I'd let you buy me a drink. But I'm actually not sure if you are a 15-year-old or underdeveloped adult."

I then VERY promptly turned around and walked faster than I have in my entire life into the closest Duane Reade where I knew I couldn't be harmed.

This is one of the few disadvantages of living in NYC. I have never experienced this kind of obsessive "hollering" in any other city I've lived in. However, as excessive and irritating as it can get, I know that when I'm having a bad day I can walk down my street and find some guy that will, without a doubt, have something positive to say about my ass.

I just do this until my next gig.....

"Oh, well, the summer is typically slow."

This is what I have been hearing from so many artists recently and it's what I mutter when the uninformed person asks me what movie or Broadway show I will be performing in next.

::QUICK TANGENT::

If you know an actor do not ask them, "Are you famous yet?" We hate it. And we hate you a little for bringing it up. It may seem natural but it's a huge blow to our egos. It's the equivalent of asking a businessperson, "Are you CEO yet?", a teacher, "Are you Superintendent yet?", or a doctor, "Have you cured Alzheimer's yet?" Yes, it's extreme but trust me, the comparison of feeling defeated is the same.

::BACK TO FUN AND GAMES::

And it's true. The summer IS slow when it comes to auditions, filming and whatnot. You may ask, "Well, Karen, what is it that you DO for income during the summer months? Wait tables? Perform monologues on the streets? Sell water for $5 a bottle in Times Square?"

Glad you asked. I'd be HAPPY to share with you the random jobs I have been placed with this summer to support my lavish lifestyle. Oh, and get excited....pictures included.

As you may remember, I work for a convention staffing agency. It was the annual Book Fair and a client of ours requested two young female actors to play characters in a recently published children's book, "Bink and Gollie." When my boss offered the job I enthusiastically accepted with the expectation I would be entertaining little kids and signing autographs like the local celeb I am.

I was the tall and lanky, Gollie. The other girl, respectively, was Bink. We arrived at our assigned station promptly at 8am ready to entertain book lovers of all shapes and sizes. Sadly, none of those were child size. To our surprise no children were admitted into the expo. We were handed bags of Swedish fish to pass out to buyers/publishers/bookstore owners. No where in the book, "Bink and Gollie" does it mention Swedish fish so you can imagine our confusion when we were given this task. Regardless, we put on smiles and walked around the trade floor shouting, "BINK AND GOLLIE SWEDISH FISH! COME AND GET THEM! THEY'RE FREE!!"

We. Were. A. Hit! So adorable in fact that a client for ComicCon asked our boss if he could hire us to dress up as comic book characters for his booth. Of course. Not a bad gig for only 3 hours of work. Plus we got to stock up on free books. Next job.

A friend of mine since high school, Ashley, works for an athletic apparel company. They sell your top of the line clothing for serious athletes. Ashley calls me one day and asks if I'll be a promo model for the NYC Triathlon.

"All you have to do is get people to sign up for a raffle." Ashley explained. "So easy and great money......ohandyouhavetowearlycra."

Lycra? My hesitation was...minimal. I could work out hard for a week and get in Lycra-wear shape. I accepted the job.

Please see photo.

Holy Lycra Batman! Let's get this straight. Never in my life have I worn Lycra shorts. I'm mean...I looked really cool but I have no intention on making this an everyday affair. The other "model" that was hired was the peppiest thing I have ever met. I have never seen a person this happy about life that wasn't taking drugs. Seriously. The length of her hair reached her lower back and she continuously flipped it in my direction causing it to slap me in the face. She would chase down people to get them to sign up for the raffle which gave away $500 worth of apparel. (That reminds me, I forgot to sign up. Shoot.) This job was three, 8 hour days. When the other employees asked if I would be back I firmly but politely replied with a "no."

A good thing, however, that came from this job was my motivation to train for races. After talking to the triathlon contestants I decided that I am royally lazy and there is no excuse why I shouldn't be participating in these events. Stop shaking your head in disbelief. I'm in my second week of training. Next job.

Tia was working a promotional event and really wanted a friend to work with her. It would only be two hours. In and out.

"Sooooo, what's the deal?" I asked.

"Welllllll, it's a Jersey Shore CD release party. And the client is Goodburger and they want girls to pass out mini-burgers. We would have to wear black shorts and they will give us T-shirts and hats to wear."

I have a small crush on Paulie D. Sure, I'll go.

The venue for this party is a huge club. We meet the Goodburger clients and head up to the office to change and get ready to pass out these burgers. Oops. Goodburger forgot our t-shirts and hats at the store. They send someone to go back and get them. However, we have hot mini-burgers that need to be passed out. Wait, what are these! There are gold bikini tops in the office that the bartenders of the club wear! Extra ones you say?

"Girls, why don't you just put these on for a little bit until the shirts arrive?" Goodburger client asks.

Sure. My shame flew out the window when I accepted this job. (I'm not providing you pictures of the gold bikini. You get Tia and I enjoying one of the burgers).

Onto the dance floor we go carrying trays of burgers and onion rings. Who doesn't love girls passing around free food when your drunk? Oh! I'll tell you....the cast of Jersey Shore. (And Lil' John/Wayne/Rapper (?) who was also at this soiree) One of the guy cast members walked past me and stared at my tray for a good 15 seconds, I assume debating whether or not to eat one. I told him he needed to think faster and walked away.

My complaints about the job are trivial. It was actually a lot of fun. Tia and I were able to get rid of the food quickly then join the party.

I think back to how unhappy I was having a 9-5 desk job. I would have breakdowns regularly because there was so little excitement and variety in my life. I meet new people from all over the world everyday. I learn new things everyday. It's fantastic.

Recently, I got more steady job that is actually in my field. Very grateful. The oddball jobs are still out there and I'm sure I'll fall into another one. How could I not? They make my life more interesting.

mom! the meatloaf!

This past month I babysat an 11 and 7-year-old. Both are incredible kids and will go on to do even more incredible things with their lives. I think about what they are accomplishing now and I suddenly feel royally insignificant. Eh, despite the fact they are already trilingual and more advanced at math than me, they were the most down to earth and personable set of siblings I have ever had the pleasure of babysitting. My first day watching them, I sat with the 7-year-old, Yuri. He immediately asked a flood of questions to get to know me better and check my credibility.

"So, what is your job?" was his first question.

"Well, I'm an actor." I felt I had to answer this with as much confidence as possible so as to not come off as a flaky wannabe. I could already tell this kid had good intuition.

"And do you live by yourself?" Whenever he asked a new question he would remove his hand from his chin and place his arm out, palm open to me as if he were a psychiatrist attempting to expose some hidden memory that I had repressed.

"I have two roommates."

He squinted his eyes.

"So, you do not live with your mom?"

"Right."

Yuri sat back, crossed his arms and shook his head.

"That is so cool. You LIVE here, have a job, and DON'T live with your mom! I can't wait to grow up. That is so cool."

At that moment I knew I was an instant hit with him and continued to brag about my awesome life as an unemployed actor living with two guys eating ramen every other night in an un-air conditioned apartment and how I did NOT live my mom.

Looking at my life through a 7-year-olds point of view was refreshing. I know I occasionally joke about the 180 degree career move I made a year ago and how I suddenly became the "starving artist", but you know what, I DO live here in NYC, I DO have a job as an actor, I AM grown up and that IS cool. I am living a life that so many people wish they could experience and I will never wonder "what if".

I am constantly surrounded by some of the most talented people you will ever meet. I love them all and they are my inspiration.

So, if/when I hit yet another rejection, I will remind myself that my life is pretty "cool" right now.

Green light........RED LIGHT!

Here's a brief Public Service Announcement for you New Yorkers out there: Wear your seatbelt while riding in the back of a taxi cab! If you choose to disobey it will only be a matter of time until a cab driver runs a red light and your face makes a sudden impact with the credit card machine in the partition. And that is not an accepted form of payment.

I recently had the privilege to experience this traumatic event. After the initial impact, I remarkably realized I could move all my limbs so I jumped out of the cab remembering most Hollywood car crash scenes ending in an explosion and was not about to be caught in that line of fire. Witnesses rushed to my care asking if I was okay. "Yes, I'm okay!" I told them. "But what does my face look like?!"

"Excuse me? What?" replies the shaken pedestrian.

"My face? I'm an actor! What does it look like?!"

Yes. My main concern at this point was if my career as an actor was finished. Was my eye swollen, any teeth knocked out, missing an ear? If I'm missing an ear I'm definitely going to have to get new headshots. That's a lot of money. Who's going to pay for that? Then I fainted.

Young gent picks me up and says, "Uhhh, lets get this girl in a cab home."

I realized that this guy thought I was some drunk girl that passed out on the sidewalk. Others corrected him by saying I was the passenger in the destroyed cab currently wrapped around that pole. He then pulled me back into the cab and continued to ask me questions to check my coherence when it was revealed that he was a producer. For the rest of my life I will regret not giving this guy my business card. Especially since I was thinking about for the whole 10 minutes we were hanging out until I went to the E.R. Always on networking mode.

Long story short, went to the hospital. Cat scan, X-rays, tetanus shot...everything turned out just fine. Should have been a lot worse since I was not wearing a seatbelt. Out of commission for a few days and found out that black eyes can appear quite some time after impact. Who knew?

Let me just say that I am so lucky have such an amazing group of friends who have shed their remarkable light on this unfortunate situation. From the minute the accident happened to these final recovery moments, I have had the most compassionate and genuine people surrounding me. Thank you. The world needs more people like you.

Right now I'm just taking it easy and taking the train wherever I go.

music is what feelings sound like

I was walking in the tunnel at the 42nd street station the other day, blasting my iPod, listening to the "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" theme. Only it was this jazzy version. Catchy, right?

John Williams has been rocking my world since I was 8. I appreciate all genres of music but have always had a strong interest in film composition. That's where John comes in. Here's a brief history of my affair with this man's music scores.

- In 1993, I purchased the soundtrack to Jurassic Park. I was 8 and it was the first CD I ever bought. That same year I started playing the flute. For our Spring concert we played the theme to Jurassic Park. It was at that moment I decided I would become a professional flautist and play in one of John Williams' orchestras.

- E.T. was a movie that always scared the hell out of me as a kid. I would have to fast forward through the majority of the flick until we got to Elliot and E.T.'s farewell. "Saying Goodbye" is one of the most beautiful and powerful pieces of the score. It brought me to tears at 9 years old. The build up at the end of the piece was too much for my young heart. You try listening to it without getting teary eyed.

- In 8th grade, I purchased a "John Williams' Collection" flute book. The book included the themes from Raider's of the Lost Ark, Star Wars, Superman and many more. I used to lock myself in my room and play for hours with the windows open in hopes that a talent agent would be passing by our house at the exact moment I was playing the flute solos in The Imperial March.

- Speaking of Star Wars... I cried tears of joy when Duel of the Fates was on MTV's Total Request Live in 1999.

While I admire many film/tv composers (Danny Elfman, James Horner, Alan Silvestri, Jerry Goldsmith, Elmer Bernstein), John Williams is the one who will forever hold that special place in my heart. It was the score to Jurassic Park that inspired me to become a musician in the first place. Out of all the activities I could have chosen to participate in, I immediately knew that band was it for me. I continued to play everyday until I graduated high school. I originally was going to go to college for instrumental performance. For some reason I decided not to. Maybe fear? I don't regret it. I regret keeping my flute on a shelf for the past couple of years. I recently brought my flute back with me to New York after visiting my parents. I am proud to announce that I skill kick ass and jumped on that chromatic scale like it was riding a bike.

I miss performing in orchestra's and hope that I get to have that experience again some day. In the meantime, I plan on playing my flute more often and if you see me walking down the street or working out with my iPod, I am most likely listening to the music score of a major motion picture.

Why do you do it?

As actors, we frequently accept a variety of jobs when we are in between shows. This includes waiting tables, nannying and even dreadful street promotions. Rarely do we come across a temp job that gives us anything more than a 15% tip and feelings of uselessness. However, on those special occasions when we are lucky enough to accept a job where we leave feeling inspired, it is reason enough to continue our passionate lifestyle and dismiss external negativity.

My nanny agent called me the other day to see if I was available to work a movie premiere at MoMA. Not doing anything Tuesday. Why not? I would be the guardian of the directors 9-year-old son, while he and his wife mingled with the crowds.

The premiere was for an HBO documentary called "The Lazarus Effect." This story is about the dramatic transformation of individuals living with HIV in Africa. When given 2 antiretroviral pills costing 40 cents a day, they can live a full life with HIV instead of dying from AIDS. It's a powerful film supported by the (RED) campaign and the Global Fund.

HBO Documentary: The Lazarus Effect trailer

I was desperately trying to not be a royal spazmatic when meeting director, Lance Bangs, and his wife, Corin Tucker. Here, I was supposed to keep their child entertained for the next 4 hours and I just prayed he didn't choke or fall down a flight of stairs while he was in my care. Marshall, the kid, turned out to be incredibly cool to talk to and we hit it off immediately. As we were sitting in the theater he leans over to me and says that the guy who plays Anakin Skywalker from Star Wars is sitting in front of us.

"Wait. What? That is not Hayden Christensen! It looks nothing like him!"

"Trust me. It's him."

Hayden turns my way and glances at me.

"Oh. My. Gosh. Marshall, that's Hayden Christensen."

"Duh!"

I convinced Marshall to go up to Hayden at the end of the premiere and say he was a big fan so I could meet him. Unfortunately, Hayden booked it out of the theater giving me no time to turn on the charm. I told Marshall he was a horrible wing-man. He didn't seem to mind.

Naturally, Lance was darting throughout the room, walking on the red carpet, and talking to press the whole evening so I didn't get to talk to him much. However, I was able to snag some time from Corin to ask her about the film. She mentioned how the producers really sought out Lance and wanted him to direct this documentary. That the experience really changed their lives and their family. They both seemed so down to earth and genuine about the project and the people they have touched and will touch due to the nature of the film.

After attending an event like this it reminds that as actors, or musicians, or writers, or directors we have so much power to influence the human mind. We do it through our words, music, and actions. It reminds me why I even got into acting in the first place. And that was to create the ability to make someone FEEL something. To introduce them or remind them of an idea or feeling that they may never have recognized within themselves.

I am so thankful and proud of those who created "The Lazarus Effect." It takes guts, heart, and sacrifice to make a film like this. If you are interested in learning more about the film and (RED) here is a link. "The Lazarus Effect" premieres on Monday, May 24.

Domo arigato hazelnut coffee

Writing to you live from the International Optical Fair Tokyo....booth....at The Vision Expo. Where the only reading material is in Japanese and the best conversations are with 50-year-old men telling you how pretty your face is. It's my third and last day assisting these friendly gems from Japan and I am sorry to report I haven't learned a lick of their language. In an attempt to strengthen my cultural knowledge I browsed through a pamphlet in what I thought was Japanese. When I thought I knew what I was reading, I proudly announced to the International Sales Manager I could read a little Japanese. He promptly corrected me by saying that pamphlet was actually in Chinese. Quite an endearing and charismatic man. He continued to endorse Tokyo and highly recommend I visit the city. While I shook my head yes all I could think was, "I've seen The Grudge and I'm not particularly in the mood to be cursed".

One of my next convention show jobs will be dressing up as a children's storybook character. Sell out job?

I need to book a play/film/commercial ASAP.

I am doing Boardwalk Empire Monday. Cigar/cigarette girl again. At least I have a steady gig there. Hell if I'll see some other girl shimmy around Babette's Club with my cigar tray. I'll push those cigars and cigarettes as much as the director calls for it. Who cares about my health or others. Got to love a show where production says, "Smoke 'em if you got 'em" to bring authenticity to the set.



I had a "go see" the other day with a modeling agency. Do I want to be a model? No. But do I like additional income to spend on New York fashion? Si. I had passed the prelims by sending in pictures and measurements so I thought the "interview" would be a breeze. I knocked on the agency's door and heard, "Come on in, Karen". The former model behind the desk took a good minute before she looked up from her laptop to acknowledge my presence.

"How tall are you?"

"5'8"."

"Stand against the wall so I can take some measurements."

She corrects me by saying I'm 5'8" and 1/2 as if this were Catholic school and I had forgotten the 10th commandment.

Measurements around bust, waist, and hip follow.

"You know, your measurements are disproportionate. Your top is a size smaller than your bottom. Do you know what I mean?"

"Yes. Yes I am aware of that....trait."

She continues to stare sharply at me. I wondered if she was waiting for me to say I would be happy to develop an eating disorder to fix the situation but I kept my mouth shut.

"Well, Karen, can we have a headshot to keep on file and when something comes up we feel you would be good for we'll give you a call."

Then she smiled for the first time.

I walked out of there not sure how to feel about what just happened. Luckily, Greg called saying he and Tia were going to Central Park. If you dont know Greg and Tia, you should. I'll ask if their taking friend applications. I told them about my recent interactions and we felt it would be best to drown feelings with ice cream. After 5 minutes of Good Humor delight half of my treat dropped on the ground. Never in my life have a witnessed such an obvious sign.

I saw The Runaways last night and it made me wish I was more rebellious as a teenager. So, in Joan Jett style and to make up for lost days as a wannabe juvenile, I wore my leather jacket and red lipstick to work.



Go see the movie if you have not already. I hope you have a more rock savvy audience than we did. Toward the end of the movie, Joan's infamous "I Love Rock and Roll" plays and the 20-something behind us says, "Oh, THAT'S who sings this?" and serenades the movie theater with her own rendition. Hopefully with Jen's substancial "Shhh!!" and my "I hate idiots" she developed enough desire through humiliation to go home and Wikipedia Joan Jett like every other American.

Time to wrap up as my boss is expected to come around the corner any minute.

Sayounara.