Domo arigato hazelnut coffee

Writing to you live from the International Optical Fair Tokyo....booth....at The Vision Expo. Where the only reading material is in Japanese and the best conversations are with 50-year-old men telling you how pretty your face is. It's my third and last day assisting these friendly gems from Japan and I am sorry to report I haven't learned a lick of their language. In an attempt to strengthen my cultural knowledge I browsed through a pamphlet in what I thought was Japanese. When I thought I knew what I was reading, I proudly announced to the International Sales Manager I could read a little Japanese. He promptly corrected me by saying that pamphlet was actually in Chinese. Quite an endearing and charismatic man. He continued to endorse Tokyo and highly recommend I visit the city. While I shook my head yes all I could think was, "I've seen The Grudge and I'm not particularly in the mood to be cursed".

One of my next convention show jobs will be dressing up as a children's storybook character. Sell out job?

I need to book a play/film/commercial ASAP.

I am doing Boardwalk Empire Monday. Cigar/cigarette girl again. At least I have a steady gig there. Hell if I'll see some other girl shimmy around Babette's Club with my cigar tray. I'll push those cigars and cigarettes as much as the director calls for it. Who cares about my health or others. Got to love a show where production says, "Smoke 'em if you got 'em" to bring authenticity to the set.



I had a "go see" the other day with a modeling agency. Do I want to be a model? No. But do I like additional income to spend on New York fashion? Si. I had passed the prelims by sending in pictures and measurements so I thought the "interview" would be a breeze. I knocked on the agency's door and heard, "Come on in, Karen". The former model behind the desk took a good minute before she looked up from her laptop to acknowledge my presence.

"How tall are you?"

"5'8"."

"Stand against the wall so I can take some measurements."

She corrects me by saying I'm 5'8" and 1/2 as if this were Catholic school and I had forgotten the 10th commandment.

Measurements around bust, waist, and hip follow.

"You know, your measurements are disproportionate. Your top is a size smaller than your bottom. Do you know what I mean?"

"Yes. Yes I am aware of that....trait."

She continues to stare sharply at me. I wondered if she was waiting for me to say I would be happy to develop an eating disorder to fix the situation but I kept my mouth shut.

"Well, Karen, can we have a headshot to keep on file and when something comes up we feel you would be good for we'll give you a call."

Then she smiled for the first time.

I walked out of there not sure how to feel about what just happened. Luckily, Greg called saying he and Tia were going to Central Park. If you dont know Greg and Tia, you should. I'll ask if their taking friend applications. I told them about my recent interactions and we felt it would be best to drown feelings with ice cream. After 5 minutes of Good Humor delight half of my treat dropped on the ground. Never in my life have a witnessed such an obvious sign.

I saw The Runaways last night and it made me wish I was more rebellious as a teenager. So, in Joan Jett style and to make up for lost days as a wannabe juvenile, I wore my leather jacket and red lipstick to work.



Go see the movie if you have not already. I hope you have a more rock savvy audience than we did. Toward the end of the movie, Joan's infamous "I Love Rock and Roll" plays and the 20-something behind us says, "Oh, THAT'S who sings this?" and serenades the movie theater with her own rendition. Hopefully with Jen's substancial "Shhh!!" and my "I hate idiots" she developed enough desire through humiliation to go home and Wikipedia Joan Jett like every other American.

Time to wrap up as my boss is expected to come around the corner any minute.

Sayounara.

the jig is up

Fate reached out to me today and sang, "Now is the right time Karen, now is the right time." ...

I was sitting in 8th grade Biology not only trying to understand what eukaryotes and mitochondria were but how to pronounce them when I first discovered Riverdancing.We had a substitute and she promised if we worked for a solid 10 minutes then the rest of the 50 minute period could be spent watching whatever we wanted on the television. (Education obviously wasn't high priority in Fayetteville, NC) After 10 minutes of passing notes back and forth with my friends we switched on the TV in hopes of finding a Dawson's Creek re-run. What we found was a true phenomenon in my eyes. A special on Riverdancing. I was in awe of the effortless moves these dancers created with their graceful limbs. While the other classmates made fun of the dance I secretly wished I could be apart of it.

I went home that day, ran to my room, locked the door and attempted my own Irish jig. Since I didn't have any "Celtic Dance" I had to make due with The Nutcracker soundtrack. At 12 years old, I was already a well established dork and didn't need this new obsession providing more ammo to the girls that currently made my school days unbearable, so I kept it a secret for years.

Now, I am more than happy to share my love for the sport and proudly announce it whether it's relevant or not. I have even gone so far as to tell random people that I AM a Riverdancer on tour. Take me to an Irish bar, pour me a Guinness, play a little Dropkick Murphy's on the jukebox and I am rather convincing. However, if you're dumb enough to think I'm actually a Riverdancer then I'm ordering you to pay my tab.

Back to today. I was working yet another convention where I had no interest in the industry trade when I saw some girls modeling some peculiar hair styles. Their hair looked like George Washington's powder wig with Dolly Parton's volume. At first I thought this was some kind of cheerleading competition and was even more put off. Then I saw another group turning the corner in traditional Irish garb. My eyes widen as I heard the taps of their dancing clogs. OH MY GOSH THIS IS A FEIS! A little education for you. A "feis" is a sanctioned Irish dance competition.

There was no containing my excitement as I rapidly gushed my love for Riverdancing to my co-worker and a few strangers waiting for me to print up badges for their lame convention. I knew what I had to do next. Leave my post and go check out this more interesting form of entertainment. Immediately I start striking up a conversation with a coach/new BFF who guides me toward my dreams. He said he couldn't believe I had never taken an Irish dancing class and it was never too late to get started. I thought to myself, "Yes, why HAVEN'T I taken an Irish dancing class? I live in NYC! If there is a crunking dance class, then I surely can find Irish dance!"

Today was just the motivation I needed to push me toward the start of a new hobby where people will question how I provide the illusion of my legs moving as if independent from the rest of my body. I'll keep you posted on my progress.

i've decided i need to start writing more

I had an early morning meeting today. The A train is quite the convenient gem I rely on frequently. Know who else frequents the A train? The Mexican Mariachi Band. If you live on the west side you surely have been serenaded several times by these three gentlemen. How they manage to play their instruments, sing, AND remain standing while the train is in motion will remain a mystery. They chose to set up shop right in front of me and it took all my strength to not request "Wind Beneath My Wings." It was a noisy train and I hate having to repeat myself.

Following my meeting, I scheduled an audition. Unfortunately, my meeting ran over and had to reschedule the audition for later in the day. I was unhappy about this only because I already looked fantastic and I was not in the mood to recreate the look 3 hours later. After my "Real Housewives of NYC" catch-up, I refreshed and took another ride on the A train where I was blessed with the presence of a woman who chose the seat next to me to slurp her pear. You ask, "Can a pear be slurped?" Yes, yes it can. I can control my vocal disgusts. My facial expressions, however, have no restrictions. This woman could have been a contestant from American Gladiators but suffered a nervous breakdown post production and spends her time pummeling cheeky girls. Thank goodness she was sitting next to me. For my sake. If she saw my eyes roll, I fear I would have looked worse going into my audition.

Exiting the station, I realized the rain from earlier today had now posed a potential threat to my hair and skinny jeans. Not to mention the hellish winds roaring through the streets made it impossible to use my reliable $10 street vendor umbrella. I toughed it out in only a hood. I ran into a minor set back when a group of what I can only deem as high school tourist girls from Tennessee taking a break in front of a falafel truck blocking me with their "Coach" and "Louis Vuitton" umbrellas. Enter uncontrollable tiffed off look.

One block away from my destination and not a hair out of place.... You know, you see in the movies/television shows people who get swamped by the trucks who spray water. Heck, you may see it in real life and think, "Ha, that sucks!" but know you're too smart for it to ever happen to you.... Well, when it happened to me today, I had the reaction I had always imagined. Which was a "What the hell?!?" Nothing too fancy or over-the-top. I, however, never imagined the ever so chivalrous gent in front of me to give a shrug and "that sucks" face. God, I love New York.

I already have a good rapport with the casting director holding the audition as we spoke on the phone a few times beforehand. Walk in, apologize for rescheduling, blah blah...

"Karen, thank you so much for coming in today! Especially with the weather..."

"Yeahhhh, it's no problem! But I looked sooo much better early today..."

Commence laughter.

"No, but seriously..." (me)

We proceed to small talk. When did I move to NYC? What projects have I worked on recently? Where am I from? (which I HATE because coming from a military family there is no easy way to answer this question. I normally just say Texas because of college or Florida because that's where I most recently lived. Occasionally, I lie and say I'm from wherever they are (as long as it's east coast based because I'm more familiar). I must say I'm rather good at it.)

Overall, it was a great audition. I find out Tuesday if I was cast. I hate indulging on audition details. Makes me uncomfortable.

I forgot to bring my book with me for the train ride home. Luckily, there was one of those guys dressed up as a gold robot sitting across from me so I had something to look at.