i cannot be held accountable for what i say at night

Listen to this 80's throwback to make your experience more enjoyable:

I was 8-years-old when my parents realized I talked in my sleep. Merideth and I shared a room at the time and Mom was tucking Mer in for bed. I was already asleep. Tomorrow was the first day of 3rd grade and apparently I was stressed. I have no recollection of this event but my mom tells me I started rambling about being nervous and having to go to the school cafeteria if it rains but I didn't know where the school cafeteria was located. I discussed my concerns with both Mom and Mer for about 10 minutes. The next morning, Mom asked if I was still worried about finding the cafeteria and I had no idea what she was talking about.

I had frequent episodes of somniloquy growing up and it was a common complaint amongst my siblings when we had to share a room. Occasionally, they would find it amusing when they would attempt to get me to confess who my boy crushes were or other secrets they were curious about. Then make fun of me the next day. Once my older sisters left the house and I had my own room there was no longer any evidence of my syndrome.

Until I went off to college.

Thank goodness I had an amazing roommate freshman year. I had prepped her on the slight chance I might talk in my sleep if there was activity going on in the room after I had fallen asleep. She thought it was awesome and couldn't wait for the opportunity to experience this firsthand.

- This particular episode is from her perspective. I don't remember a single thing.

One night I had been asleep for maybe an hour and she was still doing laundry so we kept on one of the dimmer lights. She opened the door, walked into the room and I immediately sat up. Apparently, "Scaring the shit out of her."

"BEA! Turn off the lights our contacts glow in the dark!" I said staring right at her and pointing rapidly to the side of my head.

"Whaaaaaat?" Bea replied hesitantly.

"Trust me! Turn OFF the lights and our contacts are going to GLOW!"

"Karen, I don't think they will do that."

"Bea, will you listen to me. It will be so cool. Just TURN OFF THE LIGHTS!" (I can only imagine how freaked out she must have been)

"Karrrrreeennnn.....I think you're talking in your sleep."

Bea recalls the next moment as the most amazing: I stopped talking. Looked to the left. Looked to the right. Looked at her confused. Then laid down and went back to sleep.

I am unable to recall anything from this night. It just reminds me what a freak-a-zoid I can be. Luckily, Bea thought it was the funniest thing that happened the whole year.

Occasionally, I am able to recognize when I'm talking in my sleep. Once I realize what's going on I'll say, "Forget it, I'm talking in my sleep." The majority of the time I'm saying something illogical or some promise I can't keep. I suddenly become embarrassed and want to rectify the situation.

Naturally, I have done research on this and here are a few things I found interesting:

- Girls talk in their sleep more than boys

- Sleep talking runs in families (Dad has fallen asleep on the couch many times while I am around watching TV and he will mumble)

- About 4% of adults talk in their sleep

I also have incredibly vivid dreams. I can remember at least 2-3 dreams a night. With the large amount of severe sleeping disorders that exist I feel that I am incredibly lucky to have been burdened with occasional sleep talking and excessive dreaming. I used to keep a dream journal in high school. I'll have to search for it while at my parent's house for the holidays. I still write in journals almost every night because I find that it helps with my sleeping and releasing any stress I may have for the day. I recommend it to everyone I know who says they have trouble sleeping.

Okay, so now you all know my nighttime secret. You can make fun of me if you want. I've developed a thick skin. And then I'll just write bad things about you in my journal....