Lisa Frank and child entrepreneurs

I'm supposed to be calculating my budget right now. And by "calculating" I mean determining how much I can spend on McDonalds and shoes this month. It's the responsible thing to do. My dad taught me how to "budget" when I was 5ish. He had me sell Kool-Aid and cookies at a yard sale and taught me the value of a savings account and interest. Since then I became very familiar with the value of a dollar and how to multiply it.

When I was 8, I had a friend named Mallory. Mallory's family was loaded. The only reason I went to her house was to loose myself in their playroom. They also had leather arm chairs in their study, the kind that I imagine Sherlock Holmes or Dick Clark sitting in, and I liked to pretend I was the host of a scary story radio show. Don't ask.

Let's cut to a quick side story. My sister, Sarah, always had pages of Lisa Frank stickers. In 1990, Lisa Frank was a hot commodity and every girl wanted to cover their trapper keepers in rainbow colored koala bears and unicorns. I was very familiar with this rage and wanted to know how I could profit from it. I didn't care how I got there, just as long as it made me the richest 2nd grader at Warrenwood Elementary and, naturally, the most popular.

Back to Mallory. I stole a small page of Lisa Frank stickers from Sarah. (This was not unusual. I stole a lot of things from my siblings.) The page had about 10 small stickers on it. I brought it over to Mallory's one day with the determination of a used car dealer wanting make a sale on a 1970 Gremlin. Let's face it, Mallory was sucker. I convinced her to give me $10 for that small page of crummy stickers. I went home proud of my profit and wondered how I could steal more sticker pages to bring to school the next day and sell to the other chumps in my class. Unfortunately, for me, I had one sharp mother who I had yet to outsmart at my young age.

"Karen, WHERE did you get ten dollars from?!"

I had not yet reached the point in life when money was exchanged for household chores so I knew I had to think fast.

"I....found it....." Sharp mother did not produce sharp child.

"Karen. You did not find it. Where did you get the money?"

If you know me at all, you know I cave at the slightest bit any kind of interrogation. I burst into tears and use my doe eyes as my greatest defense.

"I took some of Sarah's stickers and sold them to Mallory!!!" I mustered up with a quivering lip.

With four kids, my mom perfected the stare down. I knew I had it coming. My punishment would entail returning the money to Mallory and replacing Sarah's stickers. Now I was out ten bucks AND had to somehow come up with the cash to buy my sister new psychedelic, drug inducing Lisa Frank "artwork."

I never said my ideas to "multiple the dollar" were successful. Right now I am far to busy breaking in my new Chucks and ordering take-out to share the prosperous stories/ideas. Another time, kids. Another time.